I would say when I got close to my teenage years I started to suffer with some things and I wasn’t sure of what they were. But come to find out I have a chemical imbalance in my body, I suffer from depression and anxiety, my mood will flip within minutes unintentionally. Now when this happens I have coped to deal with it and manage it but sometimes it is extremely hard if there are other stressful events going on or even nothing going on at all.
Now why am I writing this? This is random right? Well yesterday I was in a huge funk, and I have been for maybe a week now. And last night I figured it out, my body is unbalanced right now and it sucks because I have been distant from people and my social life. I take forever to reply or don’t reply at all or I’ll be very vague. I always apologize because I don’t do this on purpose of course but it’s no fun going through the random changes that happen with my mood. Now one might say why not take medication to manage it? I used to be on 6 different medications when I was younger and as I got older I found out I had been misdiagnosed and re-diagnosed so many times that I was tired of the meds. I learned to manage my disorder through writing, music, talking about it to someone whom I care about. But there are those times where it gets bad, there will always be times like that but the medications made me feel like I was different, some could say well it rebalances you so it makes you “normal” , well maybe I don’t want to be “normal”. I want to be me, me before all the meds, me that has her flaws but is a compassionate and empathetic individual. I’m happy without the meds, no matter how contradicting it may sound. I’m happy with being flawed. I’m happy with being me. But I know I will always hate having these disorders, it’s not fun and sometimes I just need a hug to feel a little bit better. I will always keep a positive outlook on life for I have come far and I have even farther to go.
What do you struggle with? How do you manage?